The language of love, cyberlove, that is
Cyber-dating, online dating to you, is fraught with riddles. Truth telling seems to be a prominent value in this culture but from where I sit, is in short supply. Isn’t it bad enough that we talk in bytes and the abbreviated language of text messaging? But, alas, online dating speaks in code.
How would I know?
In my field research, for my single friends that is, ahem, I’ve observed lots of misleading dialogue. One must approach this ever popular landscape a bit like Sherlock Holmes. Proceeding with caution is highly advised!
Ok, here goes some of the cybertalk that I’ve unearthed, for my friends that is…
Weight - Average build - translation: overweight; Atheletic build: wishful thinking
Height - 5′ 11″ - translation: 5′ 9″ (or short means SHORTER)
Recent picture - translation: within this millennium
Income - “will tell you later,” translation: broke
Occupation - “self-employed,” translation: jobless
Marital status - “divorced,” translation: separated or thinking about it
Age - 50 year old man, translation: 55 or over - 50 year old woman, translation: 53 or over
Age preference - under 40 for a 50 plus man, translation: jerk
Age preference - under 40 for a 50 plus woman, fun!
And, when one takes that technological leap from cyberspace to that archaic communication system known as the telephone, listen carefully. When a man refers to someone as “them,” he means “her.” That’s okay, it’s the first phone call. I wouldn’t allow jealousy to rear it’s monstrous head until, let’s see… date 3?
If there is no picture posted for “professional reasons,” it’s because he doesn’t want people who recognize him to tell his wife. Yes, it happens.
What about the cyber-dater who wants to remain “invisible?”
Stalker.
Oh, and get this. There are actually men out there advocating “polyamory.” Know what that means? It’s code for “I can sleep with as many women as I want without you stopping me.” Sheesh. Another example of arrested emotional development and an out for perpetuating immature relationship behavior. Commitment you see is either “ownership” or so trusting that nothing will threaten it.
I don’t buy it.
Take a lighthearted gander into this barroom-on-a-computer-screen world. Where truth is a very relative condition and numerous liberties are taken. Harmless? Not exactly, but with the proper dose of caution and due diligence, one does not have to be completely paranoid about encountering a dangerous person.
Remember, background checks also exist in cyberspace.
Language certainly continues to grow more and more elastic and saying what we mean and meaning what we say is beginning to sound old fashioned.
But, if you do love it, finding the codes and the bastardization of language can be a fun sport for us crossword, scrabble-loving, puzzler types.
Send me your language faux pas, double entendres and cybertalk. I want to crack this code once and for all.
For my single friends, that is.
Comments (1)Have a peaceful day
The back end of vacation time, resolutions, and life as we know it (or wish it)
A dear friend suggested that I do a year end wrap up (oops, I’m late) or better yet a message for the new year.
What can I say?
Spending the last 10 days sunning and funning, eating too much, napping, reading and doing very little writing has been a sheer delight. Thanks to my apartment in the sky above the sea which I so often gloat about.
Trust me, you would, too.
My slice of paradise is on borrowed time but I can assure you that I’m enjoying every ticking minute. So, what does this having to do with the brazen year ‘09?
Brazen. You gotta love that word.
That’s what I see ahead. Living deliberately. Out loud. With vitality like never before.
Why not?
The news is depressing. We’re all holding our breaths each day we get to spend in our offices. We see well groomed girls begging for money at busy intersections. We listen to the infinite noise about the Middle East. We watch gas prices go up. We watch them go down. We see waste all around us.
What do we have, but now?
Living in the moment has been a slogan bandied about for quite some time. Zen masters may have been early advocates yet present time calls for this prescription more than ever.
So, in addition to the personal and more specific goals I’ve mapped out for 2009, many which I’m sure grace your lists, I am choosing not to simply live in the moment but to revel in each and every one.
No more self-pity. No more blame. No more over-judging every iota of life.
Celebrating life. How ever cliche that may sound, and it does, I feel like there is no alternative.
Then comes the sharing of the celebration. With friends. With family. With those less fortunate. And, with that one who stands beside me.
The celebrating needs to be a happy infection. It must proliferate and resist every strain of antibiotic known to man.
Permanent. No turning back.
And, inside of the celebration, we must remember to feel our feelings. Are you going into diabetic shock yet? Don’t mock, take heed. It may also sound trite, but trite it is not. In fact, feeling our feelings is something that modern man (and woman) spend a lot of time avoiding, medicating, denying or just plain ignoring.
Trust me on this. A little feeling goes a long way.
Try it.
It’s what put Chicken Soup for the Soul books on the map. A safe haven was brilliantly erected for just that reason. People didn’t know that’s what was happening to them. It was a blessing they may still not fully understand.
Stand up and cheer. Run wildly through the streets. Hug someone unexpectedly. Sob like crazy at a movie. Sob like crazy not at a movie.
Most of all, laugh.
It’s a fleeting moment, this life, and taking it too seriously can be hazardous for your health.
Laugh more.
Love will indeed chase you.
That’s my wish for me and for you.
Happy New Year people!
Comments (2)On vacation
And to all a good night!
Next Page »
